Dear fellow pet parent,
We're writing on behalf of our client, your dog, who has filed a formal grievance regarding their current food situation. After review, the JustFoodForDogs Legal Team finds their case… compelling.
In short:
Your dog believes they deserve fresh, human-grade meals — the kind made by JustFoodForDogs, the first company to cook real food for dogs in open kitchens using ingredients even you could eat (but please, save some for them).
While you've generously provided dinner, your dog suspects you may be unaware of the tail-wagging benefits of switching.
Their complaint reads as follows:
Section 1, Article 3: "Thou shalt not feed thy dog food that doesn't look and smell like food."
Clause 7: "Meals shall carry gourmet flair befitting my sophisticated palate."
Addendum A: "If the human eats fresh food daily, so should the dog."
Failure to comply may result in "The Sad Puppy Eyes of Doom™." We advise against this outcome.
Furthermore, JustFoodForDogs is clinically shown to support digestion, boost energy, and is recommended by vets nationwide. Benefits may include:
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Improved energy levels. Think of all the extra walks!
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Shinier coat. Because who doesn't want to look good?
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Better digestion. We'll spare you the details, but let's just say fewer surprises on the rug.
Your dog insists this is not about drama. It's about wellness, longevity, and meals that don't taste like cardboard insulation.
They also asked us to clarify: you are an excellent Human. A loving Human. One who simply needs a subtle nudge.
To resolve this matter peacefully:
👉 Click here to secure your dog's first box of fresh, human-grade JustFoodForDogs meals for 50% off.
We trust you'll act swiftly.
Your dog is watching.
(From two feet away. With the eyes.)
Warm regards,
JustFoodForDogs Legal Team
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