Sunday, October 30, 2022

Apply To Be Jack’s Intern

State schools need not apply
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The Weekly Bird

APPLY TO BE JACK'S INTERN

He's looking for a few good men…actually he's looking for an Asian woman, but he's keeping an open mind.

You're late!

Candidates will need to complete a 250 word essay.

Jack says a 250 word essay is actually harder than 500 words because it forces people to choose their words carefully.

Double spaced? Rookie mistake.

Jack presented candidates with several cheeses and made them select the correct wine pairing. 

Jack was ruthless with his critiques.

A merlot with a cheddar? You're pairing an acid on acid? Is your mother a first cousin with your father?

If you want to intern for Jack, you'll need to be up to date on the latest financial news.

He will often send you directly to Wall Street just to, "get the buzz".

What's the scuttlebutt?

During a interview of applicants one kid said "irregardless." 

Jack had them escorted out of the office.

Get this safety school piece of shit out of my sight!
APPLY FOR OUR SUMMER INTERNSHIP HERE
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